The Holiday review.

The Holiday.
Starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black.
Source

I feel as though I need a holiday after watching this.

First off, I know, I know. It's a film with Cameron Diaz, Jude Law and Kate Winslet in it. The Antichrist trinity of acting. I did think about this beforehand but then my stingy-student instinct kicked in and I thought if I were going to be paying £5.50 to watch a film, I might as well watch one that is 135 minutes long rather than 108 minutes....it is semi logical (No, 'not wasting money on outings you can't afford' was not an option).


Synopsis
Nancy Myers, director of other rom-coms such as What Women Want and Some thing's Gotta Give once again takes the helm of 2006's ultimate chick flick. Two woman, both unlucky in love, trade houses for the Christmas break, and find that travelling across the world and living in someone else's house can also change your life.....

Iris (Kate Winslet) is in love with a colleague, but the unrequited love is engaged to someone else. Across the globe Amanda (Cameron Diaz) is in love with herself, and as a result her live-in-lover has been unfaithful. Whilst searching the internet Amanda impulsively decides that she needs a break. Where is better than sunny LA? A snow covered English countryside, of course. The two women then move into each other's houses. Iris to Amanda's luxurious LA mansion. Amanda into Iris' quaint Surrey cottage. And from there they both learn that a change in address can also be a change for the soul.

Review
If you like Love Actually, you'll love this. Well, no. If you like Love Actually, this is the kind of film you'd go to see, but it's nowhere near as entertaining.

The film is drenched in saccharine movie-esque lessons in love and life. It's awkward, and embarrassing from the word go. When a film starts spewing dialogue about Shakespeare, 'Corny' and unrequited love in the first few minutes, it's probably best to leave and save your sanity.

As you would expect from a film about love set in LA there are the constant film references. This comes in the form of Albert Abbott. A Hollywood legend script writer, who harps on about the 'good old days of Hollywood'. Something this film desperately attempts to be apart of. It mocks the modern Hollywood's witlessness via Diaz's movie trailer company and the booming narrative of her inner thoughts in the style of American movie previews. 'It's looks like it's actually good! We're amazing!' She proclaims to her colleagues after finishing one of her trailers. Funny, I could say the same about this film.

It's a Christmas film with sporadic humour and beautiful people, however it has pretensions of being more. To my shock the stand out player was none other than Jude Law. Playing the role of Kate Winslet brother, Graham, he turns up drunk at Iris' home, and then has sex with Amanda. In Iris' bed. Many more nauseating moments happen between the two including heart to hearts about parents and broken homes, of course, what is a Christmas film without beautiful people with domestic issues?!

Across the pond Jack Black and Kate Winslet are showing us how little chemistry they have, by drinking wine, renting DVDs and singing songs in the most uncomfortable way possible. Uncomfortable fo the audience, that is. Black looks as though he's been straitjacketed and is much more suited to films like School of Rock and Orange County.

Miss it?
If you don't enjoy the feeling of wanting to crawl into your own skin and die. Winslet's storyline lacks passions and in most scenes with Jack Black it's just pure awkward.

Watch it?
If not only to laugh at the fact that it snows in Surrey every day, The daily Telegraph has very aesthetically pleasing journalists, you can chat online to complete strangers and swap houses without any repercussions and you can just waltz off to the other side of the world without any warning or notice to your bosses.

Best scene?
The most amusing was a telephone scene between Winslet, Diaz and Law in which Winslets hasn't figured out how to use a phone and continues to yell at Diaz about her brother having sex with the woman who's living her house. It sparked a few laughs and was, for that moment, like the film The holiday wants to be: Bridget Jones' Diary.

Conclusion?
A Christmas rom-com. Nothing more. Nothing less. There are some genuinely nice scenes, however, you forget them as soon as you leave the cinema.

It's Prison, yo!

I was browsing the web looking for a story to write when I came upon something rather interesting for me to rant express my opinions in a civilised manner about.

So, it looks as though my blog has turned into torubled-rich-kids-with-a-slight-affection-for-the-narcotics zone.

For those of you who watch Prison Break you will recognise this actor, Lane Garrison, as the haphazard 'Tweener'. It would appear as though life is imitating art for the 26-year-old actor as he's once again run into a little bit of trouble with the law enforcement.

Garrison, as reported was at the wheel of the car when it mounted the curb hitting a tree, killing his 17-year-old passenger. There are so many questions to be asked which really don't look like they have positive answers to.

For starters, what is a 26-year-old adult doing 'hanging out' with two under-age teenage girls? What adult drives a car, with passengers, whilst intoxicated? His highly paid, ivy league lawyer claims the actor had only two drinks and decided to take them home, however, eye witnesses from the party y two drinks and decided to take them home, however, eye witnesses from the party dispute this.

I know it's easy to condemn someone when only knowing certain parts of the story, but things aren't looking too good for Garrison at the moment. The reality that he killed someone is going to torture him for the rest of his life, but the fact is, if you've had 'several rounds of shots' you don't drive. As an adult, you would think that he would know this. Although, it's alarming how many youths think they're invincible when it comes to alcohol. I would also be a lot more sympathetic if this wasn't his second drink driving related accident in two months and if he was mature and repenting enough to admit to his mistakes, rather than hiding behind his lawyers and feeble excuses.

Police investigations are still ongoing. We'll have to wait and see how good his lawyer actually is then.

If you believe they put a man on the moon...

It would appear that those brainy acts at NASA are planning to play around with that moon of ours again. Send a robot? Collect some dust? No. they plan to build a ‘permanently-occupied base’ on the moon!

You may be thinking ‘why would they want to? It’s not like anyone ever goes.’, well, this is all for those hardworking astronauts who are planning to return to the moon in 2020, as President Bush announced after the 2003 Columbia space shuttle accident.

There are so many jokes I could make about builder’s competence that I will spare you.

The technical details haven’t all been laid out yet (and let’s face it, could you and I actually understand if they had?) but the base is expected to run by solar power and built near to one of the two poles.

NASA plans to ask other countries with help to build the base. Wow, could you imagine that rather painful ‘divorce settlement’ if ever the US fell out with one of these countries in the future?

US: Fine, but we’re keeping the moon base.
China: Oh hell no.
US: [bombs china]

It’s going to be a long time before we get to see the base, but it’s a step forward in the US space program, which will hopefully lead us to more information about the big unknown.

Now, any bets on what they're going to build next? I say a McDonalds. What? Oh come on, this is the US we're talking about!

Taxes. Death. Doherty.

Dohery on Newsnight Dec 04.
source

As the old saying goes; “Nothing in life is certain, except death and taxes.” Well, it would appear that there was something Mr Franklin didn't count on: Pete Doherty. More specifically Pete Doherty, a car and drugs.

You won't be surprised to learn that the troubled front man is once again adorning the front pages of the tabloids. 'Whatever for?!' I don't hear you yell, as it's more than likely you'd have already guessed it. If your answer is “he's been fined five counts of drug possession including heroin and cocaine” then you would be spot on. Go you! You could write your own on-line blog!

According to the Beeb he was ordered to pay £770 and disqualified from driving for four months. He wasn't sent to jail as District Judge Jane McIvor said “that the offences were not serious enough to require a custodial sentence.” It's a good job that British judicial system doesn't work on a tab system, because I'm pretty much guessing that if it was, he would be hung, drawn and quartered for the bill of criminal offences that he's picked up.

It's obvious that the Babyshambles front man has issues, but the praising fan girls screaming outside the court only encourage him. As a youth that grew up with the blinding hysteria of The Libertines I am incredibly saddened by what's happened to him, it's a shame, but really, how has this man escaped not only jail, but death?

The consensus that is flying around the message board is that Doherty is some sort of 'hero' or 'genius'. It's arguable that he is the saviour of modern British music and admittedly I'm fond of his music and lyrics, but these blind hero worshipping excuses are exactly that: excuses. He nothing compared to what he once was. His music isn't like what it used to be, nor his lyrics and definitely not his public persona, and you can't deny that the drugs are to blame for that.

Even if did used to write a few good songs, it doesn't escape what he is now. An erratic drug addict. If he doesn't sort his life out maybe not next time, but the time after he will be seeing the inside of a cell, or worse. A coffin.